


My Immortal

by Nerwen



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Drama, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Mental Anguish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-04
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-21 04:53:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3678300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerwen/pseuds/Nerwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thranduil's thoughts about his wife shortly after her death and his struggles in coping with the loss. (Song Fiction)</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Immortal

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a very long time ago and is probably the only fiction where I depict Thranduil with his wife so I thought it was worth posting I hope everyone enjoys it!

Title: My Immortal  
Chapter: 1 of 1  
Status: Completed  
Author: Nerwen Telrúnya  
Author’s Email: akio_amadeo@yahoo.com  
Pairing: Thranduil/Wife  
Rating: PG-13  
Series: No  
Genre: Death/Drama (song-fic)

Summary: Thranduil's thoughts about his wife shortly after her death and his struggles in coping with the loss.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien characters.

Warning: angst, death

Authors Note: The song is "My Immortal" by the band Evanescence.

***

_I'm so tired of being here, Suppressed by all my childish fears_  
_And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave_  
_'Cause your presence still lingers here, And it won't leave me alone_

It was almost as if I could still see her, wandering the corridors of my palace, walking the path to the gardens, even sleeping soundly in our bed. She was everything to me and now that she was gone it seemed as if I now have nothing. All I have left is vivid reminders of what we had together what we made together, my memory of her will not fade and I cannot forget for even one moment who and what she was to me. I can find no peace or sanity within myself.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_  
_This pain is just too real_  
_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

It hurts so terribly bad, yet no medicine or healer can rid me of this horrible pain. It burns my heart and my chest hurts so terribly bad that I wish I could simply reach inside myself and pull out every emotion I ever had…as long as it made this horrible pain stop…I have given it time, I have waited patiently for this hurt to subside but it simply won’t stop.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_  
_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_  
_And I held your hand through all of these years_  
_But you still have…All of me_

It seems like there is no longer anything that resembles me when I look into the mirror, whatever I had, she made…and now that she is gone she has taken everything from me including my identity. I cried, screamed, and fought for her…but it wasn’t enough, in the end she died while I held her hand, I was always there for her but it wasn’t enough.

_You used to captivate me, By your resonating life_  
_Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind_  
_Your face it haunts, My once pleasant dreams_  
_Your voice it chased away, All the sanity in me_

I wanted to follow her, I wanted my life to end and I had even asked for them to end my misery, but they didn’t and now I am bound to my duty as King. She had the brightest light in all of Arda…but it died so suddenly and I watched it die, helpless to rekindle it and bring back the light. And all I see is her, I cannot sleep for I see her in my dreams, and staying awake isn’t much more of a relief. I hear her voice among the trees singing to me softly trying to ease my pain, but her voice nearly causes me to go mad.

_These wounds won't seem to heal_  
_This pain is just too real_  
_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

Again, and again, and again I feel the pain and I know there is nothing anyone can do about it, not even I can stop this…I cannot make the pain go away.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_  
_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_  
_And I held your hand through all of these years_  
_But you still have…All of me_

Her face still haunts me, her tears, her screams, her hand reaching out to me trying so desperately to escape…I shouldn’t be allowed to forget, not even for a split second.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_  
_But though you're still with me_  
_I've been alone all along_

I know she is gone, I know I’m still grieving and soon this will all go away but I still feel as if she is with me…and if she is why do I feel like I am so alone? Shouldn’t I be happy that I see her? That I hear her songs still? But how am I supposed to remember her if she will never allow me to forget?

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_  
_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_  
_And I held your hand through all of these years_  
_But you still have…All of me_

Forget…no I don’t honestly want to forget her, just the memory of what happened to her, what happened to me. We were rescued of course, but it was all just a little too late for her, it was almost too late for me as well. Orc’s do horrible things to elves if they happen to fall into their clutches…she did not live long after their assault…and there was nothing I could do but hold her hand as her light faded away…and took all of me away with it.

_~FIN~_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my little song-fic, comments and kudos are very appreciated!


End file.
